Have you ever had the experience of feeling it’s just too late? Maybe right before you got there you were really looking forward to something. You might have been filled with anticipation, delight, hope, and possibility, and then something unexpected comes up instead of what you were anticipating. It’s just like the shutters come down. There is no conversation around it, there’s no nothing, it’s just like a big wall comes up. It’s too late.
Maybe you run the mindset that, “It really doesn’t matter anyway.” Or, “I don’t matter anyway. This always happens. It’s just the way it is.” And, there is just no conversation. Instead, there is a complete and utter shutdown.
It would be painful if you could feel it, but in those moments, it feels so disappointing, that your system blesses you with the neurochemicals to numb you out. You go blank. It’s like there is an invisible field between you and life....
At the tender age of 14, I experienced abuse. In my early adult life, I experienced memories being triggered, stinging, painful memories I had not been aware of before. As a result, I found myself swirling in such incredible shame I just wanted to stay in bed and hide.
Forever.
Fast forward several years and an amazing thing occurred. The horse of my youth came to me in a dream and reminded me that I wasn’t alone.
I felt hopeful receiving this message, and trusted that just as the horses had nurtured me when I was young; horses were calling me to trust them again to receive the energy to move forward in my life.
How do we begin to heal our inner wounds? How is it possible to begin to feel the pain of the past without falling into overwhelm? How do we hold onto hope? When our hurt was created interpersonally; our healing must be also. For that, we can receive the supportive gifts of presence and wisdom from other mammals – including...
In all new situations, our sensory organs immediately begin an observational process to determine whether it is safe, or if we need to get out QUICK!
Dr. Stephen Porges, a neuroscientist, has termed this process of perception and evaluation “neuroception.” He defines this process as “how neural circuits distinguish whether situations or people are safe, dangerous or life threatening”. This rapid response hardware and software integration takes place in the limbic system of our brain which works at a sub-conscious level.
One key element if we have experienced trauma, is the perception of threat can be real or has the "felt-sense" of being real to our body. Even when no threat exists in our environment.
When our nervous systems are designed to constantly seek safety from danger and threat, how do we manage to live harmoniously in a world full of new people and situations? How do we connect and establish relationships without freezing up or shutting down?
...
When we’ve experienced complex trauma, often, there is a part of us that wants to be healed yesterday. We compulsively move through life looking for the next thing that will make everything better - seeking freedom from the pain deep within us.
Let me assure you this is very common and normal to experience.
What we can learn, when we are accompanied with resonance each step of our journey, is how to Be with ‘what is’. To learn it is possible to become Present, even in the face of stress. This is difficult to put into words as it is a ‘felt’ experience that informs us from within.
The depth of such a journey is profound, I’m pleased to share with you the blog of ‘One’ such individual who is finding her path to Wholeness…
*********
“Even though I have been receiving support from Gloria for several years, when she developed The Healing You Method with tangible tools for her online intensive course, I got in touch with some of...
It has been a really full week for me, yet at the same time, the week has just begun. So, I took some time to reflect on what is it that is causing me to have the experience that it’s so full?
Well, what I’ve com to decide, is it’s because there have been so many moments of holding that sacred space for tender hearts. When that is the kind of space that I’m holding, it’s important for me to be able to call a pause and take time to be with what is. I do this in order to process all of the transformational changes that happen for many others, and for myself.
A couple of the experiences that have really touched me this week is working with others who their whole life experience has felt like a big struggle to ever feel like they belong or that they fit in. In fact, they are pretty convinced that they don’t. That’s their life experience. This is compounded by an incomprehension or inability to know how to actually engage with other...
This week I’ve been spending time people who have felt really tender-hearted and vulnerable. They have been having experiences of noticing that they lose their focus, or they have a really foggy mind. At the same time, it feels really painful to be right where they are.
Sometimes they pick up a strategy to get really busy, in order to distract their mind from the pain. Because when we use our focusing attention network, it actually shuts off their default mode network. The part of us that is always rehashing our whole life and wanting us to be able to do more than survive. But we want to survive first.
When we have had trauma in our life, our default mode network can become vicious. It’s doing it’s best to protect us from further harm. When we get really busy and we focus our attention intently, it seems as if the pain is numbed out.
What’s really happening inside is it’s like putting a big blanket over the top of the right hemisphere’s...
50% Complete