This week, I've spent time connecting with with people who are navigating a delicate and vulnerable space in their lives. They've shared experiences of losing their focus and grappling with a foggy mind, all while feeling the pain very deeply. Often they adopt a strategy of just keeping busy, busy to distract their minds from the discomfort. As intense focus tends to silence the default mode network. That's the part of us that constantly is reviewing our lives and urging us to do more than merely survive.
For those of us who have faced trauma, the default mode network can become over protective, creating a very vicious cycle. keeping busy seems to numb the pain momentarily, like placing a blanket over the right hemisphere is amygdala, providing a temporary disconnect. However, beneath that blanket, the authentic self arrives in pain, totally unacknowledged.
And this internal struggle, it really intensifies over time. It resurfaces vigorously once the busyness subsides. Facing this...
What is trauma? By definition; trauma wreaks havoc in a body, a mind or a system. Do you imagine the devastation might be less if the person who had the experience were accompanied?
One way to think about trauma, which may seem surprising, is, rather than measuring the magnitude of the horrendous event, we can measure the extent to which the person who experienced the tragedy was left alone with it. When we approach trauma from this point of view, its after-effects become the evidence that a part of us became stuck in terrifying, isolated, moments of time.
These little ones hidden within us, the ones we try to care for with self-harming remedies, are formed and then left behind by the rolling waves of trauma, such as; an intensity of loneliness, of terror, or of rage, which as it slowly recedes leaves behind entangled parts of self. The tangles are unchanging in their need; inconsolable, forever desperate, seeking to be soothed by something that is so close to what...
What is the magic of time-travel empathy?
There are different times in each year that I like to take time to slow down and acknowledge just how many miracles I have been blessed to experience in relationship with others. I enjoy recognizing invitations to deepen my capacity to both self-connect and connect with others and listen to the wisdom of our bodies through its felt-sense, becoming more and more horse-like. This year began with knowing I was stepping into a new beginning of my life, in partnership with my majestic herd, and collaboratively growing with warm community. This continues to be an ongoing relational practice.
A huge part of my learning journey has been intentionally developing my ability to be willing to trust that not only is it possible, but that it's safe, to receive deep, meaningful support for myself. Allowing myself to be vulnerable, transparent, and curious in relationship within a collaborative community of others--sharing resonant space, exchanging...
“Horses and Their Ability to Heal” by Gloria Lybecker, originally published in Natural Awakenings Inland Northwest.
"The horse has evolved over millions of years as a prey animal. Their nervous systems are wired to react quickly to known or perceived threats. The physical structure of a horse's brain, with its enlarged amygdala, closely resembles humans who have experienced trauma. This gives them the ability to engage easily with those who struggle with hyper-vigilance and reactivity, providing the "neuroception of safety" (safety felt by the subconscious) and intuitive understanding of who is trustworthy and who is not.
It is often said that horses see with their ears. This is true in that their visual to mental focus can be observed by where they point their ears. Yet every movement of the horse is communication: a twitch of its ear, a swish of its tail, the snake-like movements it can make with its neck.
Horses also have huge hearts, averaging about...
It is our birthright to live our lives whole… Many of us today don't feel completely whole, as if we are not all here. When we become aware of this, we can open to the possibility of reclaiming what we once enjoyed, and with support recover our soul - the vital essence of our life.
What can cause this sense of loss or emptiness within? For many it is the result of trauma; a part of our essence separated from us in order to survive. In an overwhelming experience our body supported us to escape the full impact of debilitating pain so we forgot the experience. In doing so, we also forgot who we truly are, and our sense of self was replaced by projections imprinted on us by others; family, authority figures, and peers, to name a few.
It is possible to receive support, to remember who we truly are, and why we were born into this world. It is our birthright to live our lives whole and help others to do the same. That is our passion here at Healing You...
Today I’m going to talk about a modality that's been gaining popularity in recent years: family constellations.
Family constellations is a therapeutic approach that helps people understand and heal from the negative patterns and dynamics that exist within their family system. It's based on the idea that our families are complex systems, and that problems within those systems can affect us on a deep, emotional level. By uncovering and addressing these problems, we can heal from emotional wounds and live more fulfilling lives.
The practice of family constellations originated in Germany in the 1990s, and has since spread to other parts of the world. It's been used to address a variety of issues, including trauma, addiction, depression, anxiety, and relationship problems. And as more people have experienced the benefits of family constellations, its popularity has continued to grow.
So, how does family constellations work? Essentially, it involves creating a physical...
As a little girl, one of my biggest dreams was to live in the country, with my own herd of horses, providing a safe haven where others could experience relationships very differently. Even radically. To experience relationships that endure, ones that maintain connection and communication - especially when it feels hard.
Especially when emotions oscillate high or low, I want to experience relationships that choose to stay, to accompany one another with curiosity and understanding. Rather than trying to fix you, tell you what to do, or make you wrong, or try to make you better. Because you are whole. You are complete. You are perfect as you are.
It may be that you need to get to know yourself with new eyes - through the eyes of a horse, or two, or three...
I am honored to share with you the story of a magnificent being who has begun to live her life on purpose - she is living her dream. Enjoy!
"I sought out and have experienced deep healing at this sanctuary in...
What’s so valuable about developing body awareness?
Our bodily systems hold our memories forever, including memories of traumatic events, (the amygdala has no sense of time); until we reclaim the moments when we experienced overwhelm with attuned, warm, resonate presence. When we intentionally slow down both our inner and outer experiences, mindfully checking in with our body to notice any sensations and/or impulses to move, we open a new doorway of experiencing. Daniel Siegel describes this as "a new plane of possibility."
Is it possible to rest in our experience of what is happening in order to see it more clearly?
When pausing to bring attention to your body, notice the first place your mind rests, this opens a doorway to the Present moment. As you attune to your own inner experience, you can begin to receive the wisdom of your body, notice the sensations in this area, and intentionally take time to become aware of the subtleties within sensations (such as...
How do you grow your capacity to love yourself? Is it possible to allow yourself to truly be who you really are, rather than who you've been told you are supposed to be?
The following experience was written by a client as she took time to reflect on these very questions.
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“As I reflect on my experiences being in Gloria's classes and receiving resonate empathy, many things come up for me. When I first joined her tele-calls several years ago, speaking up or even answering a question triggered my body and mind into complete overwhelm. Many times I would be curled up on the floor under a blanket praying that I would not be called on, not even having the resources to request that I just listen in. (I didn't even know that just listening in was even an option.)
I joined the class because it was recommended by my coach. She felt that it would be a safe place for me to receive support in community with others. Well, that was most...
When people experience trauma, their symptoms may last months or years, with triggers that can bring back memories of the trauma accompanied by intense emotional and physical reactions. Today I want to share with you how one of my clients experienced stepping into the constellation field with a horse.
Terrified of not mattering, being abandoned, and cast aside in her relationships, she came to Healing You Sanctuary to begin to heal her traumatic history. We went outside to the round pen and I asked her to build a magic room, a place she could go and feel safe. There were a variety of materials available in the round pen, and I had turned out Saphira, my mare, to provide female companionship. Let me share her experience in her words.
"Being asked to build a place to feel safe felt confusing. I put a chair and a stick and string in the round pen. I thought, "I really don't need anything to feel safe with Saphira." So I just stood, looking at all the other things and...
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