When we’re on a journey toward healing and wholeness, it can be easy to fall into a common trap—focusing on what we “don’t” want. We make declarations like, “I’m not going to do that anymore,” or “I need to let go of this bad habit.” While the intention is good, what many don’t realize is that this kind of focus can actually reinforce the very behavior we’re trying to change.

Why? Because when we focus on what we don’t want, we’re still giving energy and attention to it, unconsciously reinforcing that habit. The mind latches onto the habit itself, rather than the positive change we’re aiming for. So, how do we shift that pattern? The key lies in learning to pay attention to the words we say and how they make us feel. Rather than focusing on what you want to avoid, start framing it in a positive light by focusing on what you “do” want to bring into your life.

Let me share a personal...