Soothing and Easing Memories of the Past

Dec 21, 2022

Math.    

I invite you to hear or read this word, "math." If you are willing, pause and observe what is happening in your body. Is there a sensation of opening and softening? Are you acknowledging how fun and easy it is to focus on math? Or does your body contract and withdraw? Does a frown of concern or worry move across your face? Do you need a little understanding about how little you want to interact with any math concepts? Would you rather anything else? Do you love choice, and freedom, and autonomy? 

As I say this, I noticed my own body (which had contracted and withdrawn into avoidance) loosened and relaxed as I named the sensations of my own inner experience. This observational practice, when mindfully experienced repeatedly, can take just a matter of moments. 

I remember when I attempted to help my son with his math, I automatically moved into the strategies I was taught as a youth. "I'll be right back!" I told him as I raced down the stairs to...

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I Felt Shock Run Through Me

Sep 30, 2022

When we have close relationships with other people, there are going to be inevitable ruptures that will happen. Some of those ruptures may not make sense in the moment, yet they can leave you staggered.

I’ll never forget one day talking on the phone with a very dear, close friend. I heard them say, ”I don't know if I can call you back, I'm so overwhelmed I just don't think I can." 

When I took in this expression from my trusted friend, I felt a sense of shock run through me, as if cold icy water had splashed in my face. My stomach contracted, and my heart burned, desperately crying out in confusion for companionship, mattering and understanding. Then I felt my whole sense of self slowly become numb, and cellular exhaustion descended upon my heart and soul. The rest of the day was a blur as I experienced everything and everyone as an irritation and annoyance. 

I didn't bother to arise early the next morning, but hid underneath the warm thick covers, waiting with...

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Fears In The Night

May 25, 2022

I remember when Rylan told me about his fears in the night. He said, ”I just get so scared! If I wake up and you aren't there I think you are dead!"   

"I'm hearing just how scared you feel when you wake up and think I'm dead because you can't see me," I reflected, "you really like it when you know I'm okay and you aren't alone?" I guessed.   

"Yeah," Rylan's eyes widened as he continued, "but I get so scared my stomach hurts and it terrifies me! I want it to stop and I don't know what to do."   

"So you feel so scared your stomach hurts and it's terrifying? You really want it to stop; yet don't know what to do? I'm guessing you might like some support and new tools maybe?" I reflected with an empathy guess. 

Rylan nodded and leaned towards me slightly. Taking in his nonverbal cues, I drew in a deep breath to ground myself, then asked, "Do you remember the tapping (Emotional Freedom Technique) we did together when you were six...

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Fears In The Night

Apr 06, 2022

Do you ever feel afraid at night? I know I have, and as a child it was a variety of things at night that I was afraid of. It can be different for everyone.

I remember when Rylan told me about his fears in the night. He said, ”I just get so scared! If I wake up and you aren't there I think you are dead!"   

"I'm hearing just how scared you feel when you wake up and think I'm dead because you can't see me," I reflected, "you really like it when you know I'm okay and you aren't alone?" I guessed.   

"Yeah," Rylan's eyes widened as he continued, "but I get so scared my stomach hurts and it terrifies me! I want it to stop and I don't know what to do."   

"So you feel so scared your stomach hurts and it's terrifying? You really want it to stop; yet don't know what to do? I'm guessing you might like some support and new tools maybe?" I reflected with an empathy guess. 

Rylan nodded and leaned towards me slightly. Taking in his...

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