Ever feel like you've tuned out of life's melody, lost in a sea of disconnection? It's a journey many of us unknowingly embark on. Picture this: a shutdown so complete, it's as if your soul's radio went silent. You're there, but not really there.
I recall leading a high-stakes business meeting, the room vibrating with tension. The irony? The company was about wellness, yet its energy was anything but. At that time, my life seemed to crumble on all fronts, leaving me vulnerable.
As I stood before my team, an invisible fog crept in. Panic whispered, 'You're going down.' In a surreal moment, I handed over control, my voice silenced. I retreated into my own mental fog.
But the fog lifted. I chose belief over despair, found the courage to reach out for help. I embraced my inner world, nurturing it like newfound skin. My energy matured, forming a protective cocoon. I began to differentiate my energy from others', engaging without personalizing intensity. I became my guide, listening...
After walking up the stairs early one morning, I heard my lungs begin to wheeze, and as a rattling stirred deep in my chest, my mind screamed, "I'm not getting enough air - I can't breathe!" instantaneously my whole body tightened into resistance with such an intensity that blind panic coursed through me.
My eyes desperately scanned my outer environment for some means of help, and in that moment, I recognized this inner-state of being on a cellular level; learned helplessness. As I stopped, frozen in the ever-present-past, another layer of implicit belief emerged; “even if there was someone there - they couldn't help me - it'd make it worse.”
When that was not instantly made wrong by my inner critic, I felt a slight inner-shift as a tender aspect of my inner self emerged, which seemed very vulnerable and all alone. So completely and utterly alone there was no one else to reach out to, no one to see me, to hear me, or to help me.
I resisted the inner...
I’ve spent time with several people lately that have been really struggling with deep sadness and grief. This sadness can feel so profound that the heart contracts and it feels very similar to a heart attack. Your heart can feel heavy with grief.
Have you ever felt your heart contract with pain, to where it feels difficult to breathe as well? Panic attacks are actually an activation of the PANIC/GRIEF/ABANDONMENT circuitry. When these attacks happen, it seems as if the very ground beneath your feet falls away. You can feel lost. Your SEEKING circuit dissipates, and you have no way to even begin to make movement in your world.
As we begin to allow ourselves to be held by others, and not be alone in our grief, we can have the courage to name our experience. We can receive some acknowledgement around what it’s like to be us in those moments. Such as, “Would it be sweet if someone understood just how difficult this is?”
Notice what happens in your body as you...
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