Have you ever experienced the incredible sensation of being truly seen and understood by someone? It’s not just about hearing the right words but feeling a deep resonance that reaches into your very soul. That moment when another person gets you so profoundly that something within you relaxes and begins to heal. Today, I want to explore this magical experience and how it can transform the way we relate to ourselves and others.
I remember vividly the first time I felt truly understood by another human being. It was during a vulnerable conversation with a woman who was organizing a Nonviolent Communication family camp I wanted to attend. I was nervous, sharing my fears while holding the phone tightly, staring at the floor in deep concentration. And then, something remarkable happened: she resonated with my felt experience.
It was more than just listening; it was magic. She understood exactly how it felt to be me in that moment. The impact was profound, as if a frozen part of me...
I found my way to Nonviolent Communication and Interpersonal Neurobiology out of desperation to experience something different, and gratefully have received a TON of empathy support over the years. Being held in a container of warmth, understanding, and acceptance, has allowed the embedded patterns of my conditioning to unravel and new neural pathways of resilience to lie down in my nervous system. As I consistently received resonant empathy support, over time I developed my own resonating self-witness.
This inner-witness is not simply a compassionate voice; it is a deeply responsive, warmly curious, and generous voice. These new pathways empower us to live into a new way of being in our relationships, with ourself, and with others.
I remember receiving a correspondence from someone who began their communication acknowledging the value they experience for the gifts I bring into the world, and I noticed how my heart felt soft and open in response. The next sentence,...
As I pause and reflect upon the fruit I see growing in my own work, and in the world around me, I feel such profound gratitude for the clarity Marshall Rosenberg had when he gifted so many with the process of Nonviolent Communication.
17 years ago my life felt like it was turned upside down and inside out. I blamed myself for my son’s difficulties; I did not have tools developed to maneuver new territory that was totally unpredictable and unstable; and my window of tolerance was raw and quite narrow. I perceived no choice but to reduce my private practice in order to sort out how to move forward and even function. With a heavy sense of desperation, I began to search for information and processes that would help me to parent and nurture my then 5-year old son so he could regain developmental territory and begin to thrive in his environment, not just survive.
A friend mentioned Marshall Rosenberg’s book, A Language of Life,...
I like to keep a gratitude journal, and the other day I was looking back over one of my very first journals that I started right after I first started learning nonviolent communication. I decided to share it with you today. It’s called reflecting on times that felt tough.
What I used to do was use what is called OFNR, observation, feeling, need and request. I did my best to reflect on each one of those steps. I really wanted to have more ease, peace and harmony, especially in relationship with my youngest son. I find it fascinating to go back and see where I was all those years ago.
O - My observation was: I really wanted to go to church this morning with my family...I tried to help Rylan get ready for Sunday School and it went downhill fast. I get so tired of needing to wait. I'm confused how to help him move forward out of being stuck. He uses such a loud voice, calls names progressively more violent, then explodes. Out of frustration I mirror him which escalates the...
How do you foster relationship within yourself and with others? What is your first thought upon waking or before falling asleep at the end of the day? Do you greet yourself with kindness upon waking, taking the time to imagine your upcoming day with curiosity? At the end of the day, do you take time to reflect and celebrate the moments that went well and to mourn and repair those moments that were difficult? How do you greet your loved ones "Good morning" and say "Good night" before they go to bed?
I have been intentional to take time every morning and night to reflect and ponder these questions surrounding relationships and discovered with some delight and fascination how this practice unfolded in my relationship with my youngest son.
I remember waking up as a child hearing my Dad downstairs singing, "Oh what a beautiful morning, oh what a beautiful day..." and as I came down the stairs he would greet me with a cheerful smile, "Good morning,...
I was looking back over my journals and ran across the first article that I wrote regarding parenting. I remember at the time it took a lot of courage because I had what I called “writers block” and was petrified at putting my own self out there in the world. I was afraid of what others might think, say, or do, in response to me. It’s taken a lot of empathy sessions to lay down new pathways within myself to get to the point where I was willing to do that back in 2010. So, a few years have gone by and lots and lots of empathy sessions for Gloria, for which I am eternally grateful.
I want to come back around though, I have six beautiful grandchildren that I just love so much, and they always have me coming back around to what it’s like to be in relationships of trust. How to grow relationships of trust, and how important it is to be as present as possible with our children, with any children, or with one another.
So, let me share with you some of the...
50% Complete